Tomorrow we will have been married for a year.
I have some thoughts to share about the first year of marriage. (And I am going to ask Paul to write down his too.) But right now I wanted to answer a fun question I got when I asked for blog topic ideas.
Would love to a hear a 'looking back at the wedding' - what details stand out in looking back more than expected? was there something you worried about or put lot of effort into which looking back you needn't have worried about. when someone says wedding - which image comes to your mind?
Looking back on the planning -
I joke about how when people hear you are getting married they always say "Oh how exciting! Don't let anyone tell you what to do, remember, this is your day. But of course you just have to have...." I think it's just the nature of weddings. Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to help. The trick is to smile and nod and then move on with whatever feels best for you. End of story.
To me, a wedding is just a party. For the couple and maybe the parents, it has a ton of significance. But for the other 80-200 guests, it's a party. Forgetting that equals no fun for anyone.
So I got over all the pressure and expectation and tackled the wedding like I do everything else. With a list. I was very blessed in that I had emotional and financial support from our parents, but without strings. No one close to me pressured me into anything regarding the ceremony or the reception. This meant, I could do whatever made sense to me (within the budget, of course).
Our venue was awesome. Hands down the best decision I made. (With my dress and the color orange being tied for second. Oh and the DJ and the photographers killed it too.) I DIYed everything I could, but was not fanatic about it. We had 14 months to plan and I went through all sorts of ideas before usually settling on a simple option. I stayed calm throughout the process by staying in charge. The only time I lost my cool was at the rehearsal when things were not going how I expected. I am the type of person that needs to just do it myself. Accepting that, and (nicely) letting the people around me know that, helped things run smoothly.
Looking back on the wedding day -
I woke up hungover. That is so embarrassing to admit. But we had an amazing rehearsal dinner the night before and unfortunately, I drank a glass of wine too many. I remember being so annoyed with myself for that.
But a shower, breakfast, lots of water and advil and I was back in business making centerpieces.
I saw Paul about 20 times the morning of the wedding. I don't believe in bad luck. Marriage is about work, not luck. I didn't wear something old or something blue. Or borrowed, now that I think of it. I told people I did because oddly enough, lack of all that causes panic.
I remember the ceremony so well. Details that stand out best? Nodding at Paul when he said his vows. My bridesmaids smiling at me before we walked into the church. My amazing brother sniffling through the readings.
And then I remember the reception. It was exactly what I wanted, a huge party. In retrospect, drinking too much at the rehearsal dinner meant I didn't want to drink at the wedding which I am very happy about. I had a bit of fancy champagne and that was it. I enjoyed the party so much more because I was so present for it. Details that stand out best? Our venue's wedding rep telling us we were so relaxed for a bride & groom. Dancing with my girlfriends to "Call On Me". Paul resting his hand on the small of my back as we went around to tables and thanked people for coming. The DJ saying my dad should be on Dancing with the Stars (which is true).
Paul and I stayed until the end and then went up to our honeymoon suite. It's so cliche, but a year later, I can say my wedding day and night was the best of my life. I was so happy to be so aware of every second. And waking up the next morning with a wedding band on and a husband beside me was so amazing.
Oh man. It was so fun. I never want to do it again, but it was so very fun.