if you are unfamiliar with the concept of picking one little word to guide you throughout the year, read this.
Next week, I will be talking about the word I have picked for 2012. But I can't discuss it without reflecting on my word for this past year.
At the beginning of 2011, on a complete whim, I chose magic to be my word. It was light and airy sounding. It was naive and on the surface. 2011 was set up to be a challenging year because I would be handling most of it by myself. Paul would continue to work 65-80 hour weeks at the hospital with many night shifts. Then he'd be leaving in July for his deployment to Afghanistan.
I figured that since I'd be facing the year mostly alone the best thing to do would be to throw myself into me. I chose some ambitious personal goals. I set some lofty business goals. When I turned 26 in February, I gave myself the task of completing 26 projects. I set up my life and my schedule to be a never-ending list. Stuff to do. Bread to bake. Miles to run. Projects to finish. Products to invent. Blog posts to schedule. Trips to take. Workshops to write. Busy, busy, busy. Me, me, me.
A bit of magic seemed like something I could use.
I didn't think much about my word during the first half of the year. And then, in September, my word resurfaced. (You can read all about that here.) It changed my attitude. It changed my focus. It developed into something that didn't exist at the beginning of 2011.
My word for 2011 was something of a joke.
My word for 2011 became a mantra.
I chose to find magic once a week and publicly share it here on the blog. In doing so, I found magic every day. I found quotes that inspired me. I took more photos. I felt lighter and noticed a greater sense of relief. I appreciated more.
I am grateful for the role my word played in my life this past year. I am grateful for the subtle attitude shift that has happened over the past few months. But admist that, I am so grateful that 2011 is coming to a close.
Don't get me wrong, I think I needed this year. I grew as a separate person instead of half of a couple and I am not sure that would have happened as dramatically if Paul and I were in the same house everyday of the past year.
But, OH MAN, am I over it. I am so done with 2011. I want the next one. The next 365 days where I am only alone in this house for a (giant) handful of them. I am ready to have my partner, lover and best friend home again. I am ready to bounce my ideas off someone who talks back. I am ready for hugs after work and kisses in the morning. I am ready to work on my relationship. I am ready to see our marriage roar to life. I am ready to focus on two again. In 2012, I will get my family back.
Magic* carried me in 2011. And I will never forget that. I'll remember I got through it and that more often than not, I was very happy.
But 2012, I am so ready for you. Welcome to the party.
*yes, magic, but also faith, love, supportive friends and family, this blog, California sunshine, Friday Night Lights & a decent amount of red wine.