Our beautiful daughter, Piper Frances, arrived at 8:49am on Friday, November 6.
Two days past my due date, I went in for a scheduled c-section. A few weeks ago, this was for sure not the plan. I couldn't even tell you how it became the plan. I really wanted to go into labor on my own. I was optimistic about going into labor on my own. But ultimately and long story short, a c-section is what happened.
I am truly overjoyed.
Let's be clear, a surgery is a surgery. Getting cut open is awful and painful and rough. Recovery hurts. Moving around hurts. Not being able to pick up your toddler hurts. But the difference between getting cut up after a decent night's sleep and getting cut up after 27 hours of labor and two hours of trying to push out a baby is night and day. For a million reasons, this delivery felt restorative and healing after what I went through last time.
And now we have girls! Daughters!
I can't believe it. Ellerie is very excited to have a little sister. She's also not quite 2.5 and so the adjustment is still an adjustment. The biggest thing I'm noticing is how quickly her emotions change. It's a lot to process for anyone and really, she's doing so well so far. Last night was our first bedtime at home and at one point both girls were crying loudly. But thankfully (and more importantly) Paul and I remained tear free. "We got this" I told Paul after the dust settled and we climbed into bed for the first of many times. And really, we do.
The experience the second time around has been the exact opposite of my entry to motherhood.
We're three days in (and of course I realize my hormones and emotions have a long way to go) but I'm already doing things like laughing, thinking about the future with joy, eating while breastfeeding one handed, breastfeeding without crying, showering without crying, finding myself looking forward to the next few hours, holding conversations, allowing spontaneous plans to occur and even...waitforit...relaxing. It's UNREAL when I think back on what I was going through in June 2013.
This morning, before Paul took Ellerie to daycare (she'll be keeping her normal three day a week schedule) WE BAKED COOKIES. I can't lift her or cuddle her too much, but cookies? Cookies, I can do. For now, baking cookies together can help remind her that even though there is a new baby and a lot of change her mama is still here. Her mama is well. Her mama's sole focus this time around is on keeping calm, staying present and letting her girls know they are so very loved.
This feels like a completely a different ballgame and it's one I am so grateful to be playing.
Welcome to the world my beautiful Piper Frances. We can't get over your sweet face, calm disposition and spiky dark hair. You have completed our family and we love you so very much.