It's evening and you just went down for the night. You drifted off while we watched TV and we both stared at you for a long while before tucking you into bed. And then we came back to the couch and looked at the photos I had just taken of you asleep in Dad's arms. I know. This sounds like an odd thing to do, and right now you're probably wishing we'd, "get a life, already" but hey, it's the truth.
And the second truth is you're changing fast little one. Every single day your grins come easier and stay just a bit longer. Your giggles are more pronounced. Your hands pull at your blankets in an endless game of peek-a-boo with yourself. You pump your legs and strain so very hard to sit up. You pick up toys and hold your own bottle. You watch attentively as we play with your rainbow stacker and seem to listen as we read you books. You roll over from front to back and inch forward on your tummy. There is something new every day, but it's the changes in your eyes that I notice the most. You seem to really see us. To understand that we are your people and you are ours.
I am changing too, Little Bug. I've noticed lately that I laugh so much more than ever. With you, with Dad, and with myself. I've made no secret of the fact that those early weeks were tough and felt heavy to me. These days have their own challenges, but it's safe to say life feels "light." Dad recently caught a video of you giggling as I tickled your neck. Finally - after weeks - we got your tiny, breathy laugh saved to be watched again and again. What caught me off guard about the video was not your special giggle, which I am blessed to hear often, but mine at the end, in reaction to yours. I sounded so happy. It took me a hot second to realize, "that's because I am." Being your Mama is a true joy.
There are still and will always be tricky parts to navigate. And that's okay - the tough bits are part of this adventure. Right now though, our family of three is content. That's the first word that came to mind and I looked it up to be sure it was adequate. As I read the definition, I realized that contentedness is often under-rated. The synonyms of "contented" are satisfied, pleased, gratified, fulfilled, happy, cheerful and glad. As it turns out, I could not find a better descriptor if I tried.
yours forever, Mama.