photo is from 35 weeks, but ear-to-ear grin is the same.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning to check on this sweet baby girl and things are looking good. Well, all we really know is that her heartbeat is strong and she's head down... but at this point, that's as good as it gets. I'm hoping for a VBAC and so a head down position is Step 3 of what feels like 450 steps to success. (Step 1 was stay healthy. Step 2 was stay active.) I am currently working on step 4...don't psych yourself out and then step 5...actually go into labor like a normal person. Steps 6-450 will unfold in the hospital unless I get lucky and this kid just flies out with no warning and Paul catches her from across the room football style which is my dream birth plan. ;)
In the meantime, everything and nothing is going on around here.
It's been wonderful to take a break. I feel like I have been carrying a backpack for ten years. And that backpack, for a really long time, was the best thing ever. I LOVED it. I identified with it. It traveled everywhere with me. I planned outfits around it and packed cool stuff in it. It got me through some tough times. It helped me grow as a human, mom and business owner. If they had been cool six weeks ago, I would have covered it with quirky pins because damn, I am proud of that backpack.
But you know what feels really good? TAKING OFF THE BACKPACK. And not taking it off and setting it at the foot of the bed to be picked up tomorrow morning, but taking it off and sticking it on the highest shelf in the garage. The relief is insane. Walking around without a backpack on, even one that I really loved, is wonderful. I'm learning that not only is walking easier, but running too. And dancing. And laughing. And obviously, reclining into a chair.
Surprise, surprise...in this metaphor, the backpack is blog content. Separating my life from blog content is (not surprisingly) really nice. Suddenly, everything seems possible.
And everything seeming possible? I can't think of a better frame of mind to be in as we prepare for this second little girl to arrive. I am so encouraged and excited about the upcoming weeks...not to mention the upcoming years for our family. Ellerie has blossomed these last few months. She's a flower in a toddler body and is turning into someone I am proud to raise, obviously, but really am just proud to know. The idea that we get to do this again? Watch ANOTHER human grow into themselves? It's inspiring. I'm inspired by my girls. The one I know already and the one I have yet to meet.
I'm also hugely inspired by Big Magic. I've been reading it this week and it's a good one. It's one of those ones that I checked out from the library but I know I have to go buy if only to highlight my favorite parts. It's one of those ones that as I'm reading I'm annoyed because I am scared the wisdom is coming too quickly and I'm not able to upload it into my brain fast enough. It's one of those ones that gives you permission to take a deep breath. Creativity isn't going anywhere. Inspiration isn't going anywhere. As long as we are here and we're welcoming, those guys are going to be present too.
So that pretty much sums up my life at 37 weeks pregnant with number two. I'm relaxing, resting, packing GTWBs, washing baby clothes, reading books, signing up for weaving classes, working on one more creative project, visiting with friends up in LA, marveling at my girl, taking photos, going on long walks, drinking ice water by the gallon, feeling inspired, feeling tired, experimenting with the headspace app, complaining dramatically about the Southern California heat wave, focusing on what I can control and simply, waiting.
Waiting patiently for a head down baby girl, who, fingers crossed and please God, is gearing up for a safe passage into the world.