I have been psyching myself up this past week to go to the DMV today. I need a Maryland license. And Maryland plates. I need to register to vote. I need to go to the DMV.
I, like everyone else, hate the DMV.
But regardless, today was the day. I printed directions. Printed my car insurance information. Wrote down my plate numbers. Brought 4 forms of ID: CA driver's license, Passport, Birth Certificate and social security card. Excessive, maybe. Prepared, for sure.
I got in the car at 8:25. And checked my bag to make sure I had EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. While checking, I noticed that my insurance expires February 9, 2008. And for some reason I took "expires" to mean "starts." So I frantically searched my glove compartment for my current insurance documents. I found a lot of stuff that expired in September. Which meant [to me] that I have been driving without insurance for the past four months. Let me tell you, realizing you do not have insurance makes you the worst driver in the world.
I decided to continue on my DMV trek. And reasoned that if anyone asked to see proof of insurance, I would just run away. Of course, as soon as I got off the freeway I got lost. As written directions are incapable of making LARGE GREEN ARROWS appear above the streets I should turn on, they do not help me. So while waiting for a light at one of my numerous U-turns, I rechecked my insurance papers and realized that we are in January. Of 2008. 2008 has started already. February 9, 2008 is upcoming. Expires does not mean start. Therefore, I am insured. (I kid you not, that was my exact thought process.) Realizing I had car insurance made getting lost worth it.
Eventually, I found the DMV.
And, against my better judgment, I entered.
I wish I could tell you that three hours later I walked out with everything I needed. I wish I could tell you that I sat and waited but was rewarded. But instead, I am forced to admit that I could not get a driver's license because I did not bring any proof that I actually live in Maryland. And not because I forgot it, but because I had no idea I needed it. I tried to write, "I heart MD" on the back of my social security card, but for legal reasons, that does not count. Defeated, I walked over to the license plate counter and was told that without the title to my car (which, a phone call later revealed is stored safely in California) I could not prove ownership and register for new plates. And I did not even think about registering to vote because, well, they would probably need to see my baby photos.
So, the morals of the story (in order of importance): Do not move out of state. Be prepared. Only you can prevent forest fires. Second time is the charm. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
