thankful for the ability to change & adapt.
Three years ago (nearly to the day) I was a senior in college and struggling with the job search. And by struggling, I mean I was curled up into a ball on the floor & sobbing. Part of the problem was that I was a business major in a competitive school. Part of the problem was my boyfriend lived on the other side of the country and by contract, his life was dependent on the needs of the US military.
And so, I struggled. I asked questions. I blogged a bit. I told self deprecating jokes. I cried. And I kept interviewing. I kept printing out resumes, and getting dressed up and answering all of the questions in what I thought was the right way. And lets be clear - I interview well. I am an interview champ. But you cannot fake interest. You can't fake passion. And I had no passion for Company X in Arizona or Company Y in Illinois. And because the recruiters knew what they were doing, I kept getting the standard rejection email. And I kept searching craigslist with bloodshot eyes.
Around January, (or maybe February?) of my final semester of college, I decided to quit interviewing and move to Maryland to live with my boyfriend. There was not a guaranteed paycheck there, but there was a good man named Paul there so I figured it was worth a shot. That was a hard choice to make. I didn't like that I was the girl who graduated and moved for a guy. But, at the end of the day, it was the right decision.
Right after the move, I interviewed with a paper store. I would have worked for free - I loved paper that much. I anxiously waited for a call. And ta-da, I (finally) got a job. It was good, I was inspired, I was motivated, I was hungry for more. But a quick year later, I realized the commute was horrendous & the hours were rough.
And so, one year ago (nearly to the day) I wrapped up my management position and stopped helping open new stores in the area. I decided to just work a day or so a week, and grow my little business at home. But the days passed, and panic set in and I found myself once again replacing sleep with craigslist searches.
My searching worked and I spent last spring interning at a PR firm. Finally! A desk job! I had a degree in desk jobs! And it was fine, but certainly not a passion. Certainly not a right fit.
All that was really left, the only thing that didn't make me cringe, was the work at home plan. I had had some practice. I understood how easy it is to get sucked up into bad daytime television. I knew that it took six or seven to-do lists to keep yourself on track. I knew that working from home meant I would need to be the boss, the best employee, the cleaning crew, the delivery man, the get it done girl & a million other positions. I was ready to really make things work.
And now, today, I am so glad for every twist and turn of the the last three years. It was worth it to feel lost, to get rejected. To feel overwhelmed and out of ideas. I am thankful that my idea of what success is has changed. I am thankful that I worked to adapt and follow my passion. I am thankful for all of the missteps and the few thoughtful steps that have led me to here.
It's been a very good three years.
