At 21, I was a conflicted mess emotionally partly because of the job situation and partly because I was trying to figure out if Paul and I were going to make it work. We had been dating since June 2006 and things were never not serious between us. But things were also pretty serious with Paul and the US Government. He had just signed on for a military medical career and their 16 year (at least) relationship was pretty water-tight (there was a pre-nup and everything).
After a lot of thinking and some heart-to-heart talks with my parents, friends and Paul, I decided to stop running the interview treadmill for a few months. I decided that after graduation, I would move to Maryland to live with Paul. I chose to "lean in" to my relationship.
For many people, my reasoning didn't make sense. I still get emails from blog readers who remember thinking I was crazy that I decided to do that. I think about Ellerie coming to me in 20 years and telling me she's going to skip the job hunt and go live with her boyfriend across the country and I can imagine the panic rising up in my throat.
But at the time, it wasn't even something I worried about. What's the worst that could happen? We break up? I move home? I find a job back in California knowing that I had tried to make the relationship work?
I picked Paul and took a chance on the future of us. I made the decision to chill a bit and figure out what I was going to do for a job when I got to Maryland. Suddenly a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I felt fun again. I felt excited again. I could think about my resume and Times New Roman font without crying again.
Now that I wasn't constantly washing my interview clothing, I found myself with some extra free time and I decided to start my first creative adventure, The Daily Card. If you've been here a looooong time, you might remember it.
On my 22nd birthday in February 2007, I set out to decorate a playing card everyday for a year. I shared them all on a separate blog (that has since closed because years ago, Typepad would only let you have three blogs at a time and I was running all sorts of workshops). The Daily Card project was a tremendous success for me in many ways. It was a new outlet. It was my first experiment with "big goal" setting for the fun of it. Now that I had more of a creative purpose with my blog, I started to draw more eyeballs to my work. Hilariously, my daily card blog actually won second place in a creative website contest at USC and I made $500.
The switch that came with my decision to move to Maryland and start the card blog was subtle but significant. I was, without realizing it, taking my first steps off the well-worn standard career path. I caught a whisper of a voice that said "this could be something."
I had to turn the volume way (way) up, but I could hear it.
to be continued...read part five here.
